Stars in your eyes

I’m obsessed with Astroabby horoscopes. They are incredibly specific and either completely wrong or eerily correct. This week it tells me that my love meter is on 9, but it also suggests that I look into an online dating service. What is Astroabby trying to do to me?! Isn’t it bad enough already that I’m reading online horoscopes? Truthfully this isn’t the first time that the notion of online personals has been raised, but as of yet I have not been willing to cross that line. I refuse to become Nora the feminist club girl! I have to be honest though, whenever Astroabby suggests something I am compelled to think that I might miss my destiny by not complying with her wishes immediately. Astroabby has sent my out in snow storms for nothing, but I keep coming back. At this very moment I’m on the verge of contacting “loveninja” or “punk taoist” before collapsing my bed in miserable loneliness.