December 14, 2003


The L is for Looney

Yesterday I went with Frank to the theater. We dressed up like sophisticated grownups for the occasion, him in a brown wool suit with gold accents and a distinct odor of mothballs, me in a sleeveless gold blouse, red slacks and my hair in an up-do. The play was called A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pagaent. It was a spoof on a childrens Christmas pagaent, telling the story of the life of the blessed L. Ron Hubbard. All the were actors actual children.

The topic of Scientology has been particularly amusing to Frank and I ever since we were ambushed by them in France. At the end of our abroad program in Italy our film history class took a trip to the Cannes film festival. A group of us were wandering around between films and a woman approached us asking if we were interested in seeing an art show. We asked who the artist was and she told us he was a very great man.

I was somewhat suspicious, but we had nothing better to do so we followed her to "the gallery". It was immediately apparent that the display contained not one piece of art. The exhibit was actually a biography of this "very great man". The woman lead us through the exhibit at first telling us about how this great man started out as a Science fiction writer, his name was L. Ron Hubbard. The name rung a bell, but I couldn't quite place it at first. "I've heard of him!" I exclaimed. The woman nodded. Finnally she got to the part when she mentioned Dianetics. "Wait a minute!" I blurted out, "You're a bunch of Scientologists!" and we all burst into laughter.

The woman got very upset and with a quiver in her voice she told us we could all just leave if we wanted to. It was apparent that we'd hurt her feelings, so we stifled our laughter and told her to continue with the tour. At the end the Scientologists offered us glasses of bright red punch and we all hesitated for a moment, throughts of Jonestown flashing through our heads. "Don't worry it isn't posioned or anything!" the woman scolded as if reading our minds. We all nervously took the juice. They loaded us up with pamphlets and magazines about Scientology and we hurried out the door. I seems that the juice was untainted as it had no adverse effects, none other than a persistant fascination with Scientologists that is.

Posted by on December 14, 2003 3:06 PM