November 30, 2003


In The Beginning

Ok. This is my new blog and my first ever entry.
1. I'd like to say a huge thank you to Frank for making me this blog. Frank you're a gem.
2. I want to express my incredible discomfort at writing in this weird public/anonymous forum. I wanted to make the whole blog totally anonymous and to not telling anyone about it. I pictured myself secretly writing it everyday, filling the page with brutal gossip and critisisms of everyone I know. They would never be the wiser! But then I got excited and forgot and announced to everyone that I was starting a blog. So now I have no idea who's reading this. I feel quite vulnerable.

My other feelings of discomfort are a result of the many absurd spelling and grammar mistakes I'm sure to make along the way. I'm tired of people being such sticklers for these things, they take all the creativitiy out of sentence construction. Also in first grade they said I was dislexic. Also I work in Y/A publishing and it appears to me that the trend is to write all in sentence fragments. Which even I. Think is, like wrongful. However. I prefer run-ons. And excessive comma use. So.

Oh no. This is getting boring. That's my biggest fear. I must admit I used to mock blogs, because I thought they were just self indulgent drivel, then I realized they were latest version of 'zines without the difficulty of finding free xerox access.

Here is an amusing story. This thanksgiving weekend I came home. I went to the movies with my dad and his girlfriend. I suggested we see ELF, becuase I thought it would be funny. Well it did have funny parts, unfortunately I'd already seen all those parts in the comercial. What they didn't show you in the commercial was all the excessively cheesy Christmas spirit bullshit. For example the part where the formerly sarchastic little boy gets everyone to believe in santa by reading from the list of christmas wishes. "How did that little boy know I wanted a pair of gold plated nosehair clipers? That's got to be Santa's book! After all there is only one Jane Smith in all of New York City!" My dad's girlfriend didn't like the movie one bit, which compelled me to say I liked it.

Whenever I pick a movie I feel like I have to defend my choice no matter what. The most feverent example of this being How to Make an American Quilt, which was of course chosen because it featured the cast of My So Called Life and Winona Rider. It was one of the worst movies ever made (as my mom's stupid boyfriend was quick to point out) but me and my friend violently argued it's defense the whole ride home. That time it was partially because we had vowed never to agree with him on even the smallest point. He is now dead, but that's a story for another time.

Anyway, ELF had a painfully corny ending, so I was surprised to learn that my dad liked it. Not only did he like it, he admitted to me that he even had to cry a little at the end. The end! When everyone realizes the weird elf man might be on to something and they all join in, in one of those scenes when the whole cast-- Zooey Daschanel, Mary Steenburgen, even the mean dad James Caan, have all magically gathered in one spot. they all sing Santa Clause Is Coming To Town. Crying at such an ending is worse than the time in fourth grade when I cried at the end of Wizard starring Fred Savage. It was the first time I ever cried at a movie and it made me feel very manture. The message of Elf seemed to mirror that of The Idiots, that Dogma 95 movie about people who pretend they are retarded in public. The message being that acting like a retard can bring you true joy, this is something I do tend to agree with. Not only did my dad shed a tear, he said he identified with the elf "I guess sometimes I feel like I am that guy, you know like I'm the guy on the outside that no one quite understands." Only a man with a PhD could come away from this movie with such a heavy little nugget of existensialism.
Awww, makes me feel all warm and gooey inside.

Posted by on November 30, 2003 2:13 PM
Comments

i cried at the end of the wizard too. also i saw it 5 times. but don't you think it's weird that it has the two stars of wonder years are in it and yet it has nothing to do with winnie and kevin? that always confused me.

(ps i also cried when angela chase died in little women the movie.)

Posted by: bmad on December 1, 2003 7:32 AM

I think it's sweet that your dad feels like the one on the outside just like ELF. I am also gratified to know the movie is indeed bad, just as I predicted. -F

Posted by: Frank on December 1, 2003 12:50 PM

yes the wizard was a sad movie. but only kevin was in it. no other wonder year star. there was that red haired girl in it. the tough one with no parents. then there was that weird little boy. who wouldnt talk. neither were winnie or paul. plus kevin needed to branch out. and if he played kevin arnold there could be no video games. kevin=the 60's

Posted by: Buckle FB 123 on December 1, 2003 9:32 PM

strange... i was positive winnie was in that movie. i thought she played the girl who screams "he touched my breast!" in the video arcade. but on second thought, maybe i was confused by the fact that she WASN'T in the film. i guess i figured that if kevin arnold was going to have a girlfriend it had to be winnie.

Posted by: bmad on December 2, 2003 9:10 PM

yeah the "he touched my breast girl had red hair". was she in anything else? she reminds me of the red head on small wonders who has the no na na no no no mom who played the secretary in ferrace beuller. but its not her. who was she?

Posted by: buckle FB 123 on December 4, 2003 2:28 AM

OMG, i just looked up the girl from the wizard and it says she was also hannah neffler from troop beverly hills! i can't believe i didn't realize it; TBH is one of my favorite films of all time. also it says she played someone named Rita Faldes in the classic film version of foxfire but i can't remember which one was rita. i would have noticed if hannah neffler had had a major role in foxfire, right? but why do i feel like rita was the main character? does this girl have the ability to look totally different in every movie?

Posted by: bmad on December 4, 2003 2:55 AM

incidentally, buckle, the redhead from small wonder is also in troop beverly hills. she plays the friend/troopmate of the girl from the wizard. i think she is the one who sings, "A box of them would be so nice!" but maybe that is the black girl and the girl from small wonder is the one who says, "cheap at even twice the price!" i can't remember.

Posted by: bmad on December 4, 2003 3:00 AM

In response to B’s comments about Foxfire. When you referred the “the classic film” it really got my hopes up. I thought that perhaps there was an earlier version of the film, one that actually related to the book and took place in the 1950’s. But no, you meant the horrifying Angelina Jolie movie. To clarify: Maddy is the main character, she is the nerdy girl with glasses. Rita is the slow girl that everyone sexually harasses because she has big boobs. Her nickname is Rita after Rita Hayworth. I would also like to point out that Hannah Neffler had guest appearances on many classic sitcoms such as Golden Girls, Mr. Belvedere, and Just The 10 Of Us. This accounts for her comforting familiarity.

Posted by: The Lady on December 4, 2003 2:40 PM

there is another movie, called foxfire, but i have no idea what the fuck it is about. but it's old. that's all i wanted to say. oh, wait, do you remember flight of the navigator? can you writ me something about that, LADY? something i can frame and put above my bed?

Posted by: pastelfruits on December 12, 2003 3:40 PM
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